|
|
Q - Dear Annabelle,
My boyfriend and I have been dating seriously for almost a year. Our relationship is great most of the time. He is 36 and I am 38. We have talked about a future together but he keeps telling me he is not emotionally or financially ready for a full-time commitment yet, (marriage). I'm not sure if he ever will be. He has never been
married, (I've been married twice). I feel that, at our ages, and as good as we get along, that he should know if I'm Īthe oneā or not. How much time do I give him to decide? He is unable to give me any kind of time frame so I'm kind of just hanging here. Am I being unreasonable? Please advise.
A - Dear Janet,
This is a common situation and, no, you are not being unreasonable....this is YOUR life too. Now, If you are willing to lose the relationship and move on to find someone who DOES want to Īcommitā to you there is a very simple, and usually effective, strategy. You simply tell him how you feel and give him no more than six months to come up with a ring and a wedding date. If you are living with him, or even having a sexual relationship now, then he may be quite happy to have things continue as they are. He has everything that HE wants and doesnāt lie awake a night being concerned that YOU donāt. Having a good sexual relationship is fun.........however, there are drawbacks. There are too many variables and ramifications to cover here, but you asked whether or not you are being Īunreasonableā.
A 38 year old who is Īnot emotionally or financially ready for a full-time commitmentā isnāt a good bet. ALWAYS hear when a guy tells you this. DONāT live on Īhopeā......that will bring you disappointment every time. Take responsibility for providing for yourself the things that YOU want......and, if itās marriage that you want, you need to set a deadline....and be ready to move on. You may be a pleasant sexual convenience or you may be pleasantly surprised.........but you wonāt know until YOU take action.
- Annabelle
|
