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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I've been with Martin two and a half years. We live together. He bought a house for
me and my son and I moved in last year. He supports me and my son financially and has been really good to us both. He is in the Navy, so is not at home all of the time. At the moment he is at sea for one week. Whilst he has been away, I was sorting through some clothes and I found some track suit bottoms which I have never seen before and discovered white stains all in the inside of the front of them. I have had some health problems which has meant that I have had a lot of women's problems down below, (if you know what I mean.) So basically our sex life has not been as good as it normally is.
He has been very moody of late. He has been rude to me quite a lot. Basically do you think he is seeing somebody else or purely playing with himself, if you know what I mean. How do I confront him? Do I confront him or not? If he is playing with himself, have I got anything to worry about? It seemed that the track suit bottoms had been hidden and not washed, which is unusual for Martin. In my relationship with my son's father, he cheated on me for ages so I am so worried that it will happen to me again. Martin is 3 years younger than me, he is lovely and good to my son, but can be immature. We are engaged, but he doesn't want to discuss marriage, and if it is ever brought up, he changes the subject. What do you think I should do about this?
A - Dear Wendy,
I can certainly understand your concerns. You need to think about what it is that you REALLY want. Do guys masturbate to relieve sexual tension? Absolutely. Does finding the pants in the condition that you found them mean that your fellow has found someone else to entertain himself with? I have no idea.
If it is important for you to be married and your fellow has given you a ring, yet refuses to discuss marriage, that, alone, should alert you to the fact that marriage may not be in the offing. Are you willing to say , Īthanks, but no thanksā, and move on to find someone who will commit to marriage? Only you are able to answer that one.
Worrying that you may, again, be cheated on, while understandable, is not nearly as useful as just putting your cards on the table and asking for what you want. When you get your answer....and, remember, silence is an Īanswerā too...then you have the information upon which to base a decision. If you allow others to have power over your life and refuse to take a stand on your behalf, then you will feel resentment, inappropriately, against that person. Keep your focus where it belongs.....and take responsibility for making a decision in your, and in your sonās, best interests.
- Annabelle
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