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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I am wondering how long one should be in a live-in relationship before a
commitment comes into play. A marriage commitment that is.
A - Dear Carol,
You have set yourself up for serious disappointment. The appropriate order is a ring, a date, the wedding, and THEN living together. When things are done in any other order much is lost, as you may now be discovering. Aside from the statistics showing that the marriage rate is lower, (and marriages for couples who have lived together before marriage are less likely to last), what has happened is
that the marriage commitment itself has become trivialized. Marriage is not Īadvanced datingā and something taken so lightly is easily dismissed.
If itās a commitment you are looking for, move out. Give him a deadline of six months for both a ring and a date. Youāre 42.........youāve got what you (thought) you wanted. (Perhaps you had a hidden agenda, I donāt know.) Now that you want something else, (marriage), you are less likely to get it. Thatās just the way things work.....we get the thing we want.........just not everything we want. Be careful what you focus on and beware of Ītemporary measuresā. Temporary measures often turn out to be ..........permanent.
- Annabelle
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