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Q - Dear Annabelle,
22 years ago I dated this man. He married, I never did. I wrongly ended the relationship. He has now been divorced 3 years. Over the past 4 months I have asked him out twice. He accepted both times. We have had fantastic sex three times. Very into pleasing me. Though he doesn't call me, he called me Îhoneyâ while we were having sex - does this mean anything or was it a slip? Why doesn't he call? Am I just available? I don't call him constantly, (about 1-1/2 months in between calls). Does he just need time before starting a new relationship? Do I continue to call and invite him out or wash my hands of the whole thing before I get hurt?
A - Dear Mary,
Iâd love to tell you that this is an antidote for those horrendous winters you have to live through, but what youâve got here is a living breathing, (panting), version of pizza delivery, (thatâs, you, by the way). Look, ANY guy who calls a woman Îhoneyâ under these circumstances has learned the generic term for ãAnytime you want to deliver a little of this is fine with meä. While I have no idea of whatâs going on in his, (big), head, specific to you, I will tell you that itâs very unlikely that you are, to him, anything more than an occasional appetite supressor .
Very few kids turn down candy when itâs offered and very few men in your age range are going to refuse Îfantastic sexâ when itâs so easily available. Youâve evidently been in need of a little erotic pleasure yourself or you wouldnât have tumbled between the sheets, (or wherever), when you did. If you don't get your feelings involved or expect anything other than what you already have, what you have is....well, tension release. He, likely, has a harem and youâre one of the Îbeads on the stringâ as it were. If this is fine with you, just be aware that the likelihood of your developing feelings for him is much, much greater than the likelihood him ever developing feelings for you.
I donât know what lies ahead in this situation, but you, at 48, are certainly old enough to know that this particular behavior pattern. It, likely, belongs to a guy with the Îfind Îem, f--k Îem, forget Îemâ mentality. This is your life, just be aware of how it is that you are choosing to live it.
- Annabelle
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