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Q - Dear Annabelle,
My fella and I have had a great relationship for the past four months, I truly believe I love him. The problem is his ex. They were together for two years and have gone separate ways now. She called last week to say she is pregnant by her new boyfriend. My love is extremely upset to think after two years she never got pregnant by him and, after six months, she's already pregnant. Now he wants kids and is scared he can't have any. I love him and want to be the mother of his children, but I want to be married first. How can I tell him this with out upsetting him and what if he really is Ībrokenā and it takes us twice as long to have kids??? I need an answer as soon as you get a chance.
A - Dear Julia Ann,
Honey, youāre 21.............(I know you know that), but do have ANY idea how really young that is to have this situation? Youāve just met this guy, you say you have a Īgreat relationshipā BUT. ..........................Letās take a look at just what the ĪBUTā is.......
1. Youāre having a sexual relationship with someone to whom youāre not married.......and hoping to get pregnant. THIS is what you want to do with your life?
2. The REALLY Ībig oneā is that youāre afraid that heāll get upset if you have this discussion with him. (Translation: get another guy).
3. Youāre in a relationship with a person who is STILL in a Īrelationshipā with an other.............heās not focused on you, heās focused on how someone elseās behavior reflects on him. (This is not a suitable mate.)
4. From what youāre telling me, his life if all about who HE is and youāre not picking up on this.
5. What is likely Ībrokenā is his ability to have the empathetic maturity to BE a Īfamilyā MAN. Siring a child is something almost any male can do........it takes a real MAN to be a Īdadā.....a Īfatherā.
6. Take a look in the mirror......at your life, your hopes and dreams and try to imaging this situation five years down the road. Is THIS the person you want in your life? The time BEFORE marriage is when most relationships are at their best. If this is what you have NOW, wouldnāt it be wiser to let your feelings cool down so you can take a clearer look at just what it is youāre volunteering for?
Julie Ann, whan life is 'all about me', that person is NOT in any way a suitable mate. You're young......don't 'grow old' having loved the wrong person.
- Annabelle
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