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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I'm not very trusting. The lady I'm seeing is telling me she doesn't have a lot of time in between seeing her sons (16 & 18) and she works 2 jobs. But there are times when I have my doubts.
How can I learn to be more trusting and less suspicious? Is it because I'm getting older and more protective. I don't remember being this bad in the past.
A - Dear James,
Just because youâre 47 doesnât, necessarily, impact on how trusting you are. You must have a background littered with what, in Îpsychobabbleâ are called Îtrust issuesâ. (Whatever that means). If youâre not comfortable with this woman......well, go find another one. I know thatâs not always easy, but why would you persist in a relationship where you are uncomfortable? The answer could be a simple one.......for instance, perhaps she is not really interested in spending as much time with you as you are with her and she simply doesnât know how to say Îno, thank youâ.
I would very seriously suggest that you find yourself a very good psychologist and go over these concerns with him/her. For what itâs worth, I recommend a civilian. (Thatâs just a personal prejudice), you may have someone in the service who is very good. The work will take from six months to two years and, if you work hard at uncovering all of the variables that I detect from your short note, you will not only clear up your Îtrustâ issues, but will find someone with whom you are very happy, indeed...now, wouldnât that be worth the effort?
- Annabelle
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