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Q - Dear Annabelle,
How can I resolve power struggles in my relation ship? (With out surrendering my self,wants,goals?)
A - Dear Dawna,
In any relationship, when you want something, you ask for it. As in, ćI would like_______ä. and then listen to what the other party says. You can then say, ćIām not comfortable with that arrangement, and Iād like it to be THIS way....how can WE work this out.ä
As long as you show respect for the otherās point of view and keep the other involved and, assuming that you BOTH want a resolution, then you can, possibly, come to an harmonious solution.
It is just possible that, for whatever reason, YOU cannot have, fully, what you want. You must then make a decision whether to continue the relationship with what you DO have or break off the relationship. If you decide to continue the relationship then YOU must realize that it is YOU who are CHOOSING to continue the relationship under a clearly stated and existing set of behaviors.
If you donāt like what is happening.....leave. Donāt threaten, simply state your case and let the other person respond and then act on that information. From what, (little), you say, my suggestion is that you might seek professional counseling to resolve and clarify the situation.
Remember, in life, while you cannot always control what happens TO you, you can, (almost), always control how you RESPOND to what happens to you........
- Annabelle
Q - Dear Annabelle,
Thank you for responding. Youāre right on all accounts. Iām a Gemini/Cancer and my partner is a Scorpio! I've researched to death our compatibility but seem to come to the same frustrating place every time.
Youāre right, I do have a choice. Did I mention the 14 year age difference? were both dominate personalities and find it hard to compromise. He's an introvert socially and I'm an extrovert. I don't think weāre on the same planet of understanding at the best of times!
A - Dear Dawna,
See previous answer..........(it doesnāt sound as if you want a resolution nearly as much as you want to resonate back and forth within the problem). You can either worry it to death or move forward. Itās your life......you choose.
- Annabelle
Q - Dear Annabelle,
Youāre correct, as per usual,.but thanks for contacting me so soon . I guess Iām scared to go it on my own. Iāve been living with this for over a year now, and Īstrange seems normal and normal seems strangeā! When I realized that the choice was to accept being dominated by someone or the freedom to choose my own path the choice was easier
A - Dear Dawna,
You sound as if youāre depressed. Ask your psychologist why you would Īvolunteerā to allow someone else to interfere with your life this way.........ask what purpose it serves YOU to be so frustrated and unhappy. You ARE doing this to yourself, you know.
- Annabelle
Q - Dear Annabelle,
Another question; I have problems obtaining closure, I cling to the past, memories,as well as to people. How can I get closure? Right now Iām at a cross roads in my life , I need to regain my sense of direction. Iām torn between an old love, (past), the man I live with, (Scorpio), and the ability to start over on my own. Iām a Gemini and I tend to analyze things to death, before I know it, the decision has been made for me. How
do I change my thought perception to break out of this rut? Iāve learned a lot about myself, (wants and )needs) going through the last few relationships. How did I get here? I like being in a relationship, I just need to find one that works . Help please.
A - Dear Dawna,
The FIRST relationship Īthat worksā you must have, is the one with yourself......youāre avioding that one. Without the help of a good psychologist, this is unlikely EVER to get any better. I wonāt go into the details here, because thatās what will be done with the psychologist, but you are refusing to be Īpresentā even in your own life. What you are doing, your behavior patterns are all about AVOIDING being ĪDawnaā.........if you really want to LIVE your life in the time that is allotted to you here on earth, take action on your own behalf....and soon.
- Annabelle
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