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Q - Dear Annabelle,
My boyfriend and I have been going out for almost a year and half. We have broken up four times in that time because of his addiction problem. He seems to be coping quite well for the past 8 months. The problem is that, although I love him very much, I seem to have a problem when it comes to responding to him sexually. I have always been very reserved when it came to doing things physically. I don't want to feel this way as it can be very frustrating.
I wonder if I may be able to respond more freely, and in that way get the type of satisfaction I always dreamed of. Please give me some advice
A - Dear Dee,
You don't mention your age, so I'm a little at sea here. Your mind is telling your body that you don't want to continue being with this person. There are few really hard and fast rules in relationships, but one of them is that one NEVER stays involved with a boyfriend-type who has a substance abuse problem. Period.
His 'addiction problem' is just that...his. Don't make it yours. The world is full of people who are healthier and less self destructive and you were not created to rescue anyone. You were created to become your best self...........that does NOT involve being with anyone with problems of impulse control.
When you have continued to developed into the person you were meant to be, you will find a better match. Then, you'll be able to 'respond more freely' and to 'get the type of satisfaction you have always dreamed of'.
You asked for my advice. Become a stronger person. Find a more complete person. (Life is more fun that way).
- Annabelle
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