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Q - Dear Annabelle,
Dear Annabelle:my husband and i are looking at swinging with other couples. Rright now I am a little sceptic because, since I agreed to do this which I don't mind, our sex life at home is doing so well. He hardly ever tries to satisfy me ......what should I do?
Is it healthy to go into this Îswinging coupleâ thing or will it cause more problems?
A - Dear Colleen,
That your "sex life at home is doing so well" suggests an alternative to swinging, one that won't put you both at risk of fatal infection. (AIDS is NOT the worst thing you can catch in the course of having sex with someone who has sex with a
lot of other people, hepatitus#, vastly underrated, is right up there. It, too, is fatal. These forrific virisusâ arent the only thing you can catch. Even the least serious sexually transmitted diseases are disgusting. The most serious kill you slowly and painfully. The good news for you, Colleen, is that you can achieve the effects of swinging by other means.
You are sceptical about swinging, but you "agreed to this which I don't mind." You don't mind, because you naturally want sex that brings you to orgasm. What makes you expect that a stranger will be more considerate than your husband? Remember, he's the one who suggested swinging, so apparently he hasn't felt satisfied either.
But the mere fantasy of swinging has excited you both. Just sharing the Înaughty secretâ seems to have have had some of the desired effect. Colleen, instead of passing yourself around, explain to the man you married what you'd like him to do.
There are excellent books about keeping passion alive. Read them together. Sex therapists tell mel that they advise their patients to use some of the "love-after-40" videotapes advertised in newspapers, and that they sometimes work wonders.
Use your imagination.....Both of you. You DO know the brain is the most IMPORTANT sex organ, yes? Discover new things to do together, and really try them.
Considering what the fantasy has done for you, the realities ought to be terrific. Fun in bed with your husband will strengthen your marriage.
Swinging is a pretty good bet to kill it, and perhaps kill you too.
- Annabelle
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