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Q - Dear Annabelle,
My wife and I have been happily married for 7 years and have always enjoyed a healthy sex life.
My wife and I often fantasize about including another person or couple in our love making. I feel like a weirdo but it really excites me to pretend she is stimulating another man while I make love to her.
My question is this: Is it OK to have these fantasies as long as we share them with each other and don't actually act them out? If we did act them out, is there any way to do it without heading down a dangerous road that will lead to us splitting up?
We love each other very much, but we can't deny the excitement we feel in this fantasy.
A - Dear Michael,
Well, if you do this thereās another fantasy you can soon share......(Gee, I wonder if my wife/husband finds him/her more exciting than me?) Itās only a matter of time before that little gem creeps into your love life, (not to mention follows you around all day interrupting your everyday life.) Sex is a fabulously powerful form of communication .....and can be a dangerous plaything as well.
Having the fantasies is one thing....and, as far as most are concerned, fantasies that donāt go into the real world are just fine. Just be aware that you may actually begin to convince yourselves that Ījust this onceā mightnāt be a bad thing. Well, a what point WOULD it be a Ībad thingā? There are some things, Michael, that you just quit while youāre ahead. Keep this little fantasy just between the two of you. Besides, when it IS Ījust between the two of youā it can be your little secret......a very naughty erotic little secret...........a very POWERFUL naughty erotic little secret....AND you can mentally Īinviteā whomever the two of you see.....anywhere...........into your bedroom fantasies. And, believe me, THAT Īnaughty little erotic secretā will take the two of you farther that either of you had ever dreamed. Thatās the nice thing about fantasies.....you can take them out and play with them whenever you want to...and put them away when youāre through and thereās STILL just the TWO of you in the relationship. Isnāt that what marriage is all about?
- Annabelle
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