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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have been dating someone for about six months and care and love him a great deal. But he doesn't have a job. He quit his job 14 months ago to start his own business but it's not going very well. Well, he has other opportunities but doesn't seem to be motivated at all. This is getting old for me. I have a 5 year old son, am going back to
college, have a very good job, just bought a home - I just can't stand to see someone sitting around.
We really can't do that much and I want to be taken out to a nice restaurant and pampered a little. I've been very patient but am at the end of the rope. He's even been offered a job working for a bank but will not take it because he Īdoesn't want to work in an officeā. This burns me up because of the attitude. Maybe I'm the one with a bad attitude, but I really don't think so. What do you think?
A - Dear Brenda,
What I think, in my never-to-be-humble opinion, is that you have got TWO children and this guy is going to play this hand just as long as youāll put up with it. Heck heās got a mommy taking care of him....poooooor baaaaaby. This type of male is sometimes called a Īweak sisterā and, if you continue to have him in your life well, thatās your choice.
This type of person is incomplete, will always be incomplete and will talk a good line.........and youāll just keep on buyinā it...........until you stop, take a look at how youāve set up your life and give him the boot.
You want to be Ītaken out to a nice restaurant and pampered a littleā? Well, this isnāt the kind of guy who has any clue about that sort of thing. (Let me guess, youāre selling out because heās Īgood in bedā.) Oh, you can read him the riot act and, maybe for a week or so, things will be different, but then, just when youāre feeling a little better heāll go right back to being the way he is now.
Brenda, NO self respecting male sponges off a woman.....not EVER. If you allow this to continue beyond the receipt of this letter......well, itās YOU who has the problem. Doesnāt your son deserve better than to grow up thinking this is what a Īmanā is?
Seriously, go find a good psychologist and work out a more effective way of dealing with your life.......the things that youāve told me that youāre doing indicate that you do have a good brain and courage.......and smarts, about other stuff. Now you need to get clarity about how to treat YOURSELF well.
- Annabelle
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