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Q - Dear Annabelle,
ME AND A 18 YEAR OLD FEMALE I'VE BEEN DATING HAVE BEEN GOING
TOGETHER FOR 1 YEAR AND SOME MONTHS NOW. THE THING IS, WE MET IN MAY OF 97 AND GOT ENGAGED THAT AUGUST. WE HAVEN'T TOLD OUR PARENTS ANYTHING ABOUT US BEING ENGAGED YET. MY QUESTION IS WHEN SHOULD WE TELL THEM? IF WE TELL THEM NOW, THEY'RE GONNA SAY HOW ĪSHE'S TOO YOUNG AND I'M TOO OLDā AND HOW WE HAVEN'T EVEN FINISHED SCHOOL YET....... AND IF WE TELL THEM LATER THEY'RE GONNA BE MAD WE DIDN'T TELL THEM THEN. WHAT SHOULD WE DO?
A - Dear Silent,
Well, since you already KNOW the answer, how Ībout restructuring the situation? Now, if youāre using the Īengagementā as a cover for having sex, well, a pregnancy is sure going to add an element of surprise, isnāt it?
Now, about that Īrestructuringā.........if this is REALLY the GIRL YOU ARE GOING TO MARRY, (not just want to go to bed with), then Iām going to assume that you really love her. Yes LOVE. Now, do you know what LOVE is? LOVE is when you want the best for another person.........the Ībestā as in, Īis what Iām doing in HER best interests?ā Now, if acting in a manner that, not only puts her at risk of an unintended pregnancy, but also asexually transmitted disease, and no sound educational basis for being Īout in the worldā and developing into a good and rounded person BEFORE she gets married, then, whatever ARE you doing Īengagedā to her?
You may be Īengagedā, all right, but, Īengagedā in what? In helping her to de-construct her life? Are YOU in a position to take on the responsibility of a wife and family? (Life is long, think carefully here.) Is YOUR education so complete that what you are doing is in YOUR new family-to-beās best interests?
You might want to give these questions some thought. ĪGrownupā people do NOT hide things like this from their parents. CHILDREN hide things like these from parents ..........and that IS what youāre doing, isnāt it?
- Annabelle
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