|
|
Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have been with my boyfriend for eight years and are each otherās Īfirst boyfriend and girlfriendā. He broke up with me on the day of our four year anniversary, saying that Īhe didn't know how he felt about me anymoreā. I feel so confused because I thought everything was okay. Every time we fight I find out that something is wrong that happened in the past. We can't communicate, but we have been trying and always end up yelling at each other and breaking up. We fight almost at least every month.
I really love him but he wants to take things slow now. I feel like a fool because here I was thinking that everything was okay, when really it wasn't, because he didn't tell me any sooner. Part of why he can't communicate is that his family is very closed and don't talk to each other. On the other hand, I am very close to my parents and can talk to them about anything. He also lost his father who passed away and can't accept his death.
I don't want to let go but, it's really hard just being "friends" and taking it slow until he finds himself and how he truly feels about me. I respect his decision and am willing to be there for him, but it hurts and it's not fair. He still wants to hang out and do the things that we did as a couple. Should I hold on and wait?
A - Dear Confused,
You each come from family backgrounds so different in communication styles that, at your age, Iād be tempted just to move on. The world is absolutely FULL of terrific people and do you REALLY want this problem to recur every month for the next 60 years?? Yeah, take a LOOK at that!
You can either bend yourself into a pretzel trying to please him, (by the way, who
ELSE in your life -- family -- do you have to do that for?), or you can say, Īthanks, it was great, but we (each) deserve someone with whom we can freely communicate and pleaseā?
Life is too short to have such strife! (And.......donāt YOU deserve better?)
- Annabelle
|
