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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I left a question earlier about long distance relationships and my I signed ĪConfusedā. I
am sorry, but I did not see the part with required information. I have been with my boyfriend for a year and seven months, with half of that time being a long distance relationships.ŹI am having a problem with trusting him because he does not share with me things like going to parties and hanging out with girls that are just "friends".ŹHe is afraid I will judge him, but I only want the truth.Ź Whenever I tell him this, he does not
understand.Ź How can I get him to open up to me?
A - Dear Confused,
(Itās not that the info about age and location is Īrequiredā, itās that, without the information, I can only guess at where you are in life and in which culture you live.......everything helps).
Now, long distance relationships are troublesome just because of the lack of constant interaction that gives normal day-to-day feedback for course corrections and all the other stuff of which relationships are made. This is not to say that times apart arenāt valuable and necessary, because they are.........in every relationship.
Either your fellow can be trusted, or he canāt and, either this unease that you are feeling is a pattern with you, or itās new and inimical to this fellow only. If itās a pattern with you or you find that you are choosing guys who betray you, then it is YOU that has a problem.......probably finding guys who fill a need, in you, to be disappointed. If this is the case, you can go in for a mental redo with a good psychologist and find yourself attracting a better class of guy.
If this is NOT the case with your life and this is true only of this fellow, then you probably ARE picking up something thatās not quite Īrightā. If thatās the case, then donāt take him, or the relationship, too seriously, lest you find yourself, several years hence, married and into the same situation or worse. remember, almost EVERY time you find that someone tells you something and you find yourself feeling Īconfusedā, they are lying to you and youāre avoiding knowing that they are telling a lie. When things donāt Īadd upā, youāre hearing a lie.
- Annabelle
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