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Q - Dear Annabelle,
My girlfriend broke up with me all of a sudden. She told me at first that she needed space and needed time to be with her friends. She also said she needed time to study, it just broke my heart because I love her very much. We were going to Italy in December but that went out the window. We both attend the same university. Right after that she found an e-mail of mine that I had written to really no one I knew on the internet. I mentioned in it to the girl on e-mail that I couldn't hardly Īwait to hold herā and so forth, it was just a game for me.....But she didn't see it that way...I apologize to her over and over.
She has been real hard on me and completely ignores me in class and won't even speak to me. She laughs with her friends and seems to be having a good time and acts as if she is happy. I can't stand the rejection and I have approached her on several occasions. She said I was harassing her and to leave her alone or she would have her friends tell me something. I left her alone for two weeks and the other day she smiled at me and I went up to her and asked her how she was and she said she was fine...I told her I still loved her, held her hand and gave her a gentle hug. She hugged me back, but when I asked her if she still loved me, she said she did not want to talk about it. She said, "we just had a good conversation and lets leave it at that".
I left and her last works were say hello to your family for me.....the following day I found her flirting with two guys in one of our classes and believe me I know these guys and they just want one thing......I even talked to one of the guys and he said just to cool it. She told one of them..."thanks for helping me Tuesday, loud enough for me to hear. When I followed her out she told me to leave her alone..in a loud voice.......I don't know what to make out of all this...I really am confused...can you help me make sense of all this...I feel really depressed and I don't know if I can make it through he finals....
A - Dear Karl,
I don't have time for a long answer just now........you MUST concentrate on your schoolwork ......that's of paramount importance just now. (I'm working on my dissertation and can certainly empathize with your distraction situation)...but you MUST get your work done!
There are other women...do what you have to do to pass those tests.
- Annabelle
Q - Dear Annabelle,
Thanks, Annabelle for your prompt reply....After two years itās hard. I will try to concentrate on my work. I know youāre real busy but, if you find the time and have some suggestions on how I can focus on my work I would certainly appreciate it. I need the help of a real angel..
A - Dear Karl,
OK, Karl....itās (finally) your turn. Thereās really nothing to be done here....(sorry). I do wish sheād had to good sense, not to mention the kindness, to break up with you AFTER finals. What ever happened to good manners, for heavenās sakes? Anyway, life goes on...even if we donāt like how the script is written. I do hope that you came through your finals all right...your schooling is of utmost importance and, as I said earlier, there will be other girls........in time.
Youāve waited a long time to get this answer, and I do wish I had a magic wand to renew her interest in you. That pain that shoots right through your heart and keeps you from thinking of anything else is no darned fun....and it is of little solace to know that most everyone has gone through what youāre now feeling. Iām not going to blither on trying to make you feel better...it canāt be done. (What really happened is that by breaking up with you suddenly she engaged your Īinfant panicā mode and your infant fear of abandonment). That sort of thing is a serious ouch.
Just keep on being your own terrific self and youāll no doubt attract someone who will catch your attention...the best way to get over a broken heart is to just keep going. I know youāve heard that before......and it may seem unlikely that youāll ever find someone you care for as much, but you will.
- Annabelle
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