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Q - Dear Annabelle,
I have been in love with Paul now for almost 1 year. I met him at university, he is a lecturer. I have never felt this way about any man before. I am a single mother with 2 young children and have been on my own for nearly 2 years. Paul seemed to indicate that he liked me too. He was always smiling at me and staring at me and holding my gaze. But I know from various sources that he is nervous and have heard rumors of him having a nervous breakdown.
He is 46 and has never married and has no children. Anyway, I sent him letters and a card telling him how I feel and his response was very cold. He said he did not share my feelings, etc. He never offered me a proper explanation as to why he rejected me.
Anyway I am now doing a post graduate course and Paul is the course coordinator. Although my feelings for him remain the same, I know I have to keep them to myself, but I have to deal with him quite a lot now. Every time I see him I just virtually ignore him!
Why has this happened? Why has everything gone wrong? I care so deeply for him, despite the age gap, etc. I just wish I knew how to either get him to change his mind or at least how I should act towards him. I was quite happy to remain on my own before I met Paul I wasn't looking for anyone. Why did he lead me on like this and then reject me?
A - Dear Sarah,
Are you aware that this whole situation has occurred ONLY in you own mind? That Īyou have not felt this way about any man beforeā comes from within yourself.....itās not anything HE has done. He sounds as though he is a solitary fellow and as if he would prefer to stay that way. This is not anything for OR against you, thatās just who he is.
That he would be Īholding your gazeā could be a number of things....he may have been thinking about someone of whom you remind him. Heck, at 46, he could just have difficulty seeing clearly and been seeming to hold your gaze while trying to decide just who it was he was looking at......(it happens!)
Nothing has Īgone wrongā, it jut sounds as if you have written the entire script in your head and the feelings are entirely of your own doing. While this is not unusual, neither is it healthy. Perhaps there are other gentlemen who would welcome your attentions?
- Annabelle
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